100 questions

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100 QUESTIONS NO ONE EVER ASKS

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

I prefer them closed, but they can’t right now

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

YES

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Out

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

no

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?

YESSSSS

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

yes

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

a big bear, i think. get it done.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

yes!

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

yes

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

there are too many to list.

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

only if i’m REAL bored

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

yes

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

no. unless you count when we go camping and we use the porta potty……. thats basically just got a hole to the ground underneath it.

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING?

yes

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

no. my mom always did and i hate it.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

my husband.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

queen.

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

anything Khalid

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

yes

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

not often but yes.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

elf is slowly becoming one of my least…

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

i wouldn’t tell you

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

water usually

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

sweet and sour sauce or a ranch/bbq mix

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

chicken

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

the holiday. maid in manhatten. monsters university haha

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

my husband.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

no

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

no

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

its been a while

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

no

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

yes, not since i was 16 though

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

ONCE

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

egg

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

everything. bacon, eggs, sausage, toast. fried potatoes

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

10:30

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

it feels like it right now

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

cats, barney, m&m, i dont know

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

i have no idea

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

1.25

english and some german

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

no

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

legos

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

yes

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

letterman

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

only with my grandma

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

yes

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

is that even a question?

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

no

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

yes

50. EVER USED A GUN?

yes

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51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

february

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

yes

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

yes

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

no

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

none

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

psychologist

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

no

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

yes

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

im supposed to

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

now i do!

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

when i let the dogs out

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

tank top and shorts

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

i think goo goo dolls

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

nike

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

cheetos

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

neither

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

no

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

yes

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

yes

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

no

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

NO. i was in 13th place in our district lmao. i missed Amethyst.

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

yes

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

no

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

no but i want one and my prince wont let me.

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

yes. my husbands poo is stinky

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

well yeah

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

a lot of people. idk.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

third eye blind

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

hot

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

tea

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

decent enough

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

depends 🙂

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

dj

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

yes

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

no

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

neither

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

no

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

living room

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

i am

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

almost 3 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

Jimmy.

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

no

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

yes

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

yes

 

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

teal

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

yes

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS  NEXT?

nobody

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The StepMomma’s 2017 Goals [RECAP]

  1. Decluttering
  2. Fixing up House A
  3. Fixing up House B
  4. Making healthier food and life choices
  5. Saving more moolah
  6. Paying off all debt (excluding student loans, mortgages)
  7. Weekly Bible Studies with the kiddos
  8. Reading my entire bible all the way through
  9. Hosting a Bible study in our home
  10. Becoming a DBA and LLC for my personal business
  11. More family time
  12. Learning to cook one decent meal for the family
  13. Only wearing jeans one day/week…
  14. Read more.

 

I set a lot of goals last year. I’m really happy that 10/14 of these are marked off. Here’s my annual update.

1) We decluttered SO MUCH while we were moving. and now that we’re HOME, we can see what we really.. still don’t need. and it feels SO GOOD. I have a box of dishes I’m giving to 21 when he gets his house, he and his girlfriend are working on it.

2) House A is fixed up and SOLD in October

3) House B is fixed up and has been on the market since opening week of Deer Season. 11 showings. Hoping someone will love it and call it home soon.

4) making healthier choices is a daily choice. Yesterday I ate pizza rolls and pretzels. Tonight I’m eating soup for dinner. It’s a choice every day. But this time last year, I never would have touched a bowl of freshly made turkey soup. Ever.

7) We’re still working on this. But the first year my prince and i started talking, not even dating really, he got me this Beth Moore devotional, i don’t even remember what it’s called. but we’ve started reading it with the kids every night they’re over. It talks about the birth of Christ and is real simple. It helps us to spend 10 minutes with them and get their thoughts or opinions. or just tick them off. Either way, we’ve started.

10) CHECK

11) Now that we’ve moved, we get to hang out as often as we want. it’s so nice.

12) I can make  several chicken dishes. I made a B.A. Lasagna, I make a few pasta dishes. I need to keep learning.

13) I probably wore jeans 2 total days in 2017. I win.

14) This is also a daily struggle. but most days at work, i begin with a few blog posts about topics that are intriguing to me and appealing. I count this as reading, even if it’s not hard, physical books. Now that we’re moved and settling, i want to finish the Magnolia Story and the rest of the other couple books I’ve got open.

 

2018 goals to come.

[ Loop Devotional for Women]

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You Have a Helper

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26).

My daughter, there are things you know are true—things you can’t see, things you can’t touch. You read my words in pages held together, all stacked, one by one. You read the stories of my presence in my children’s lives. You read about my promises. You see the words upon the page, listen to the sound of them expressed aloud. But what do they mean to you? Am I a God you see around you? Do you breathe Me in, this day?

You hear my name in sermons, read about Me in books. You hear my name tossed around on the lips of believers and unbelievers alike. A believer? A phrase so familiar. . .What is that? What does it mean to believe in something—in Me—as it requires so much faith?

I ask you to wait and trust Me. I tell you to not fear and look for where I am . . . Yes, even in the believing in something yet to be fully seen, you can still see Me. You can still feel Me. And I want to show you where.

There is a place, deep within you, that has eyes that see what is true. My Counselor, within you, the Holy Spirit, gives light, illuminating uncertainty, eradicating doubt, pushing forth understanding to what the world, on its own, can never understand.

This world is not meant to make sense, without the eyes and ears of my Counselor within you, guiding you to see and love and act in ways that do.

You see, it is up to you—my heart within you—to make sense in this misunderstood world. It is your task to see most clearly, from the place where my Counselor resides with you. It is your task to live, to act, from that place, from the understanding I give you about loving whom I say.

You have a Guide who knows Me and shows you the way to live. And it will not align with the ways of this world.

Listen deeply now. Pull in close to hear my whispers: Practice recognizing my voice so when you hear it, you can act. And do it with confidence, hearing Me and seeing me, even yet.

Someday there will be so much more to see, to hear, to understand. But you have enough now. I give you enough to know how to live and love now.

Trust Me.

Live that life now.

Carry Me into the world.

LOOP

a step mom- on mother’s day.

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Apparently everyone is jumping on the Mother’s Day bandwagon right now, even though we’re more than a week out from it. I guess this is when I should write about it, too.

imagesMother’s day is a really, extremely sore spot for me. I’m not excited for it. I don’t have a wish list. I don’t look forward to any part of it. It hurts me. Mother’s day feels like a giant loss for me and there are no possible words for me to even explain this to you, without giving you miles and miles of explanations. So for short:

Mother’s day is a trying time for me. My own mother lives on the other side of the country and told us she was leaving only 10 days before she drove off. Her job didn’t call her there, she convinced them she needed to move. She took a pay cut, drove her own, personal car through the mountains, and increased her monthly bills tremendously. This was 6 years ago.moving-company-reviews-clipart

In these six years, my own mother, who I used to view as this immense source of strength and beauty in a way I couldn’t understand, this woman who had it all and had it all together- she has cracked. She is broken. and she is lost.

 

My own mother suffers from some manic depressive habits and probably schizophrenia, if not a multiple personality disorder. I can’t give you a real diagnosis because she won’t visit a doctor to receive any help. Through these debilitating mental disorders, she has lost the job that she chased after, 2300 miles away. She has lost her home, she has lost her car. and she’s lost a lot of dignity. While there isn’t much else to lose, she is very rapidly losing her children. It’s hard to even say that. I’m not going to go in to grave detail here because it’s far too extravagant to try to explain.

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I have felt, for 6 years, the way a young child with a parent who walked out of their life feels. Abandoned. A little worthless, since it was so simple to just leave. A lot forgotten. But I’m an adult and I was an adult when she left and I do still have contact with her. But it feels so strange. This is the first year I didn’t call my own mother on Easter. I just couldn’t.

As a step-mom, mother’s day is naturally strange. Two years ago, Mother’s day was only a few days before my Prince and i’s wedding day. So he had the kids make me Mother’s day cards. I got one that said “Happy Mother’s Day-ish” and “Thanks, StepMomma (with my real name inserted.) And it was cute the first time because they still didn’t really know what it meant to have a step mom or what was happening. I’m not sure they really realized I was moving in until I didn’t go home the first night we returned from our honeymoon.

The second Mother’s day, I directly asked them to not send me an “ish” card. That I’d rather have nothing than an “ish” card. Because in all honesty, that “Ish” hurt.. pretty bad. They couldn’t even call me their step mother. i was just Ish. My Prince had them buy me flowers and they picked some out for their mom, too. Snuck into her house and left them on her windowsill. Our church has a Mother’s Day thing every year, where sometimes the kids deliver the flowers to their moms or sometimes they call everyone up in front of the church to have flowers given to them, or sometimes an adult will pass them out while we watch a slideshow of memories of little babies in hospitals and moms kissing their babies cheeks.

I don’t want to stand there. I feel like an outcast. My kids don’t want to buy me flowers, they correct the servers at restaurants that say “Maybe Mom will…”. They can’t stand the idea of me as their mom or as a mother-like influence. And it really crushes me sometimes.

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Mother’s day hurts. And i know that for you, it might hurt in different ways. This year feels different and feels like my kids may actually like me better than they did last year, but i am still a little bit broken on Mother’s day, grieving the loss of my own mother. She’s still alive but she is very much not here. She doesn’t know the names of my kids and hardly knows what I do for a living.

For mother’s day this year, I don’t want a thing. i don’t need a thing. Except maybe a giant hug from my Prince and an “I love you anyway.”

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writehard

The Liebster Award!

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okay guys. I love this stuff. i love that you take 30 seconds to read my blog, let alone a few minutes to try to learn more about me ❤ i love it. thank you for the nomination Sissy Mack!!

Finding bloggers that have less than 200 followers is tough!

Mack’s Questions are as follows:

1.  What is your favorite thing about yourself? I really like that i’m not judgmental and that I think I try my hardest to see the entire situation before I figure out how to approach it.

2.  If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Germany ❤

3.  What is your favorite creative medium? Photography and painting. but i’m really bad at painting.

4.  What is your geeky secret? Geeky? I have no idea. I’m really crazy about office supplies.

5.  How would you describe your style? colorful and fun. clean and tidy.

6.  When did you start writing? ive always written and it’s always been a secret.

7.  Why did you start writing? i wanted to be famous like Anne Frank and have one of my diaries discovered, but because i ended up doing something really cool. (this is my geeky fact, i guess haha)

8.  What is your favorite dessert? I really love mint chocolate chip ice cream but i am lactose intolerant, so i guess… cookies?

9. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction? oh gosh it depends! i love it all.

10.  What was the last movie you watched? Logan. it was grusome.

11.  Which continent do you live on? North American continent!

 

***Eleven Random Facts About Me***

1.  Mustard is slowly becoming my favorite color.

2. I am overly addicted to the clothing line LuLaRoe

3. I don’t have a lot of close friends

4.  I’m a 26 year old grandma.

5. The craziest thing i’ve ever done is become a step mom.

6. I really want to raise goats.

7.  My husband and I are working our way to become DeBt FrEe!

8. House hunting is actually one of my favorite things to do

9.  I am obsessed with my dogs.

10. I really love reading, now that I’m no longer a student.

11.  Cleaning is therapy. Clean house = clean mind.

Now I get to nominate some of my favorite small blogs.  I love following each of you and just want you all to know that you inspire me.

1.  Redneck Lena

2. Newish Wife

3. Marajudah

4. Dorky Mom Doodles

5. Not From Your Average Joe

6. The Canadian’s Wife

7. The Opinionated Dad

8. Stepmom Warrior

9. Tilly The Blogger

10. Single Dads Are Cool

11. The StepMomster

 

Now it’s my turn to ask the questions!

1.  Dogs or cats?

2.  What’s your DREAM job, no strings attached?

3.  When did you start writing?

4.  What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

5.  What’s one thing you’d like to improve about yourself?

6.  What is your favorite movie?

7.  What’s the first vehicle you owned?

8.  Do you have any creative hobbies (aside from writing)?

9. Do you have any children?

10.  What’s the one thing you’d like to be known for?

11.  Where are you from?

New Years Check in-2

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Checking in and keeping you updated on my New Years Progress is a really great way to hold myself accountable. If I’d written my goals down just for myself, I probably would have already lost the paper and forgotten my goals. Yay technology! Here they are:

The StepMomma’s 2017 Goals:

  1. Decluttering
  2. Fixing up House A
  3. Fixing up House B
  4. Making healthier food and life choices
  5. Saving more moolah
  6. Paying off all debt (excluding student loans, mortgages)
  7. Weekly Bible Studies with the kiddos
  8. Reading my entire bible all the way through
  9. Hosting a Bible study in our home
  10. Becoming a DBA and LLC for my personal business
  11. More family time
  12. Learning to cook one decent meal for the family
  13. Only wearing jeans one day/week…
  14. Read more.

in February’s Post you saw me do most of these things, the ones marked in yellow were already achieved or are things that are a work in progress. Decluttering, making healthy choices, saving money, pursuing my LLC (now that i’m a DBA), all things that are daily choices.

number 11 is something new, though. With 17 committing 6 nights/month to us, it’s really helped us to spend time together. The younger two are so happy to have a committed night with gbaby- i think this will be so good. now just to get 20 on a regular basis! I keep suggesting to PC that we ask 20 to come to ONE of the every other friday nights that 17 and gbaby are over, one night per month. all four kids and the g baby. it would be so nice.

I’ve successfully cooked 4 new dishes that i have never attempted before. Honey Garlic Baked Chicken , Italian Chicken, bread dip, hand pies, mmm., home made hamburgers with sweet potato fries (that was the new thing) and asparagus, and last night I made pasta salad with chicken and homemade bread. it was so good. I took step by step photos and then ran out of time and forgot to take a final photo. I was going to take a leftover photo but THERE WAS NONE! 17 ate 3 helpings of it and took every last noodle. so. good. i dont even like pasta salad! until now 🙂

I’m reading more- I’ve finished two books this year, which isn’t crazy, but I am in the process of my third book! I’m just happy to be able to dedicate some spare time to something I enjoy and not have to write book reports or take quizzes on it!

Can’t say I’ve read my bible all the way through this year yet, but i’ve been doing The Matthew Challenge and that’s kept my nose in the book.. most days. We’re also pursuing the home bible study, but it won’t be feasible until the summer.

it’s exciting to check in and see more things marked off the list or areas that I’ve made progress on!

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how are your new years’ goals? still attainable? or did you throw ’em away a while ago? happy wednesday, y’all!

finding the good in me, without affirmations

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Self-worth. What a concept.

I used to be this empty shell, this person who lived off of her self and honestly didn’t care about the opinions or actions or anything that involved another person. I was plenty fine  with myself to be apathetic about my day to day interactions and that was enough. but now. now this is hard.

It’s a real life, daily struggle to find value in my personhood. As a follower of Christ- I can easily look throughout scripture and be reminded that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that the Lord knows the plans He has for me, and that God cares for even the amount of hairs on my head. Those are facts. Those are hard truths that remind me that I have value. That I have something worth breathing for. (see: Psalm 139:13-15, Jeremiah 29:11, Luke 12:6-7 for full verses).

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It’s a daily struggle in this step-mama’s life to find value in what I do.

My entire life has flipped completely upside down in the two years that my Prince and I have been married. Most of the changes haven’t been bad- some of them are great. But they take adjusting. Time. Patience.

I used to measure my worth in the things that I did. How involved I was in certain areas of my life. Whether it was with my church, a sport, school activities, my job, even ways I was involved with my family. That’s where I found my worth, my value.

Let me tell you. Things. Are. Different.

I am no longer a first baseman. Softball isn’t a part of this life.
I’m no longer employed by my church, nor, as of yesterday, in the leadership spectrum.
I am no longer consumed by homework, projects, books, assignments.
I am no longer run ragged every day from serving hundreds of customers. It is not uncommon that my office will not have one visitor in a business day.
My biological family has taken a back seat since I became a part of a new family. They live far away. They are on opposite weekends of us.

So how do i find worth now, since all of those things have changed?

Unfortunately, I rely heavily on how my husband and children respond to me. I value and crave their positive comments, affirmations. I seek them. Sometimes doing extra things, just hoping for a “thank you” or “this is great!” I need it.

I rely on affirmations. But I shouldn’t.
Relying on affirmations allows me to be broken when I hear critiques. I am a “words of affirmation” girl in all aspects of my life. Work: need affirmation. Love: Need affirmation. Parenting: need affirmation. Being someone’s daughter: need affirmation. I need to be able to check off the box that says “you’re doing well!” before I can move along.

Relying on affirmations as a step parent isn’t good. It’s hard enough for kids to compliment each other, biological parents. Let alone this extra person who hasn’t really been here forever. Affirmations are hard to come by.

I am a work in progress. It’s an interesting time to be thestepmomma. Life is changing. Things are different. i am growing. I hope to find more value in myself in different ways, not relying on the words of others. I think this little cooking journey I’ve been put on is satisfying some of the needs I have, since good food usually brings compliments. I hope to continue to create and learn more skills- which may bring more satisfaction. Keep asking. Keep prodding.

There will be something good in here, some day.

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