[the weeks of on & off]


Most of you will agree with me that step parenting is [hella] hard. it is challenging, it is defining. it is everything you never expected it to be.

Here we are, a few weeks into the new school year and “officially” doing week on/week off with the kids. This arrangement has been the norm for the past couple summers, but not for school days. This is new.

It is unreal how much of a roller coaster life can be.
One week, there are four to seven of us in one house. Screaming, chaos, babies, three dogs, video games, constant chatter. Another week, it is just my Prince and I. working silently in our own corners (because we both just need time to detox and feel like we can accomplish something without the kids being at our side.)

Mostly, I’m enjoying week on/week off. it feels like we have a chance to actually make an impact on these kids now. it feels like we have a chance to actually get to know them as they grow instead of brief visits. Like the sort you might have with your out-of-town grandmother. Come over for dinner and in bed no later than 9PM.But i’m back to transition days for myself. The monday after, I can’t hardly move. I need rest. I need fast food or non-laborous meals that don’t have dishes. I crave candy and sweets and every indulgence that will make me feel human again. A shower. And tv.

The weeks of off are odd, though. Because i am one who’s love language is absolutely, Time. I like just one night of us doing our own thing. I don’t like working on our own projects, i always want my husband to ask me to help. This week i’m sick, so i can’t help at all since his project is canning food. My husband craves time on his own and thrives when he is able to work in the yard for a few, uninterrupted hours. He comes back in the house smiling and joy-filled and ready to interact with me. If he works outside and i come to hang with him or help, there is so much less excitement and sometimes that kills me.

The weeks of off have consisted of TV and bad food. We eat like pigs when the kids aren’t around. We sit in front of the tv every evening ( i hate tv) and fend for ourselves for food.

The weeks of on have order. Come home, one of us cooks ( i try to when the kids are home so they can see dad). relax til dinner or do chores. Dinner. Homework. Someone get in the shower. Someone else get in the shower. SOmeone please please please help me put the dishes away. No one does. Someone else get in the shower. Kids: Read. Go to bed. Start over.

it is so weird for us to have these two lives. for things to bounce so drastically. for their to be this much change and for it to just be our normal.

we have a vacation every other week! we get time to breathe! we have relief!

why do i want a kid again? those things are constant.




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