Here’s my mid-week update on life with summer kids.
Not as terrible as expected, definitely not great.
I get mad at my husband the first night because he has energy to entertain and hang out with the kids, but not me. 13 is sick, 9 gets slurpees.
The second night ended in me crying, 13 crying, and my prince being real irritated. 13 asked me if he can ever do anything right in my eyes. and well, that sucked. he’s been ticking me and both his mom and dad off so much lately that no, it’s hard to see anything good come from him. He’s crabby, he’s being lazy, he doesn’t care, and he doesn’t even try to respond if we talk to him. He’s doing poorly in school and gets mad if we try to check in. He gets mad if we try to have a spiritual check up with him. There’s a lot of anger and we don’t know how to deal with it because he won’t give us any idea of where he is at.
It gets to a point where the kids are messing around on the ground. Our house has an immediate rule that if there is rough housing, the dogs get in their crate immediately. If you want to play, i don’t care- play. but put the dogs away. They get hyper, they get excited and then they jump and try to protect and end up scratching or jumping on a person. Their nails are sharp and they are very protective. The dogs aren’t doing anything wrong, they just can’t really handle hyper situations.
So the kids mess around and i hear the dogs start to tap their toes. I start intervening and I make them put the dogs away. They want to play, they need to be responsible. It takes 15 minutes before I finally grab the dogs by their collar, after they’ve stepped on 13’s face and start howling. I put the dogs in their crate and end the horse play. It’s 10:00pm. Dad wants to watch a show. The dogs are wound up. The kids are pissed. HUFF.
HUFF SO BIG THAT 2/3 OF US CRY.
Huff so annoying it lasted til midnight.
Huff so much it makes me want to yell “I told you so!” in my Prince’s face.
I got to a point where I didn’t know what to do. I was crying and asking for help from my prince and i didn’t know what to do. i’m at my limit. so we eventually had a long talk with 13 and I reminded him that I’m a person and I’m a freaking wreck right now and can’t tell the days apart since my step dad died and i’m real broken. so i might be off. i might act different. i’m a person too. and it’s not okay to disrespect me. it’s not okay to blatantly ignore me. it’s not okay to hear my questions and stare at his dad instead of answering me. it’s not okay to walk away when we’re talking, even if you think that will keep you out of trouble. it’s not okay. i am an authority figure in our house and to these kids and the way i am treated is not okay. and i told him i was tired. and that his MOM has even been at wits end. she can’t do it anymore. she calls his dad for help and Lord knows that that never happens. she’s never admitted defeat or that my husband is a good dad. ever. so for her to call in reinforcements is very unlikely.
the angry responses we get hurt us, we tell him. when he punches walls because its time to wake up or screams at his brother for moving a fan. when he takes 45 minutes to put away 3 clothing items or pawns them off on his brother because he’s too lazy. it’s hurting him and that hurts us. and that we love him. and are sad that something is clearly happening with him and he feels like he can’t talk to any one of us. and he cried but didn’t say anything.
how do i keep doing this? i don’t know how to be a teenager parent. i just don’t know.