i probably should have done this in my first blog post ever, but that was only a little while ago, so you can forgive me, right?
i want to share the point or the purpose, the focus of this blog. i want you to know what my underlying intentions are with you, my reader(s), and be frank with you. i’d rather you don’t get caught up in my dumb life updates and that if you actually know someone who wants to connect here, you share this page.
i am a newlywed, a step mom, a student, a volunteer, a barista, a friend, a wife, a lover of all things photography, a follower of Christ, a wannabe book worm. i am a lot of things. the thing that’s different or the thing that challenges me most in my own life is the second thing on the list.
getting married was easy. it’s really cool to wake up and fall asleep with my best friend. it’s even cooler that i get to kiss him. i don’t get mad when he drops his socks next to the laundry basket, because that’s the job i accepted when i became his wife. he doesn’t get mad when it’s lawn-mowing day because that’s his job. we like each other and we transitioned from single life to married life fairly well.
having step kids is a whole different story. it’s not that i hate it. in fact i love it. i LOVE my boys. i love that i can hear young padawan playing a racing game and patting the dogs on their head and telling them he loves them. they’re my dogs and i’m glad they’re (mostly) accepted here. these kids challenge me and they are learning to love me back. i think they already do, its just a whole different world than i’ve ever imagined… and i’ve been a step kid before.
people say that parenting is lonely. that single parenting is even lonelier. let me tell you something, folks. step parenting is the loneliest thing i’ve ever experienced. it’s a constant fight to find your place and to rid your mind of the things the enemy wants you to believe about yourself and the position you’re in. don’t listen to him. don’t give in. i have one person in my life that is a step mom, but her situation is 100% different than mine. she’s been a step mom since the boy was 1, she’s like a mother to him. i came in late in the game. i know not one other soul that is in this boat and my arms are starting to get tired from rowing for this long on my own.
my husband is my biggest cheerleader. do not dismiss this. but he is in a different view point because they’re his. he sees things differently and hasn’t really had to adjust the way that thestepmomma has. he added 1 and i added 5. –also i should note that only 2 live in the house with us, but there are 2 that are a bit older and live with their mom, still very much a part of our lives.–
it is lonely being the only one. it is lonely not having a friend who gets it. i am the only one in our church, the only one in my friends, the only one in my classes and work place. i am the only one. so, i am looking to change that. i know that i can’t be the only one. there are more step mommas out there who are searching for a place to find love and affirmation. a place to be reminded that even when days are tough, you are so important to these kids. a place to find a friend and sister who will uplift you.
i will be frank when i say that this is not going to be a place for women to bash their husbands or kids, or even the biological moms. this is a place for love and respect.
my hope is to build a community of women, a community of step mommas out there, who need each other or know how to share with each other. I think Jesus is giving me this tiny task and asking me to make it something big. but in order to do that, i need you. on so many levels, i need you. maybe, for right now, this blog is for me. but maybe someday it’s for another step mom just looking for a safe place to share her experiences and to find someone who really does get it.
we’re open, the light is on. come on in.