perma-back burner.

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how do i change the way that i respond when other things take importance over me?

how do i not take it personally when my husband jumps in the car and doesn’t give me a hello kiss and instead jumps right into the stress of his day.
how do i not take it personally when the first 3 hours of our night together is spent talking about a kid. or the kids. or all the kids. ————————————————————-and i haven’t even been asked if my day was ok?

how can i act when i try hard to actively ask about the drama and try to be engaged, but the question or the statement is wrong or is not valid enough to not endure a 3 minute response explaining exactly what i just said.
how is it possible to not feel like i am the pot on the back burner that’s been overflowing and screaming for attention.

i don’t need ALL of the attention, just a few minutes. or an extra hug. or acknowledgement of there being a lack of attention.

we wake up to the drama of all these kids and we go to sleep to it, even on the days they’re not around. my head is full. my head is tired. i need a recoup day.

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[ICB Prayer Bible Review]

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20180128_171316

I was given another awesome opportunity to review a great, new Bible Resource from FrontGate Media. This time, The Prayer Bible for Children!

I got really excited to review this because honestly, my family needs more resources that remind us to study together and I am so far disconnected from what kids need that I’m willing to take any help I can get.

When I opened the package, I was pleased to see this beautiful dark blue Bible with gold decor. I will immediately tell you that I wish I did more research before I agreed to this review BECAUSE I am a step parent to a pre-teen and a teenager. This Bible is intended for younger aged children and I allowed myself to be disappointed by that.

If you’re a parent of young children- this Bible is fantastic! Don’t let my mistake be yours.

The Prayer Bible for Children helps children develop a heart for prayer and learn the Bible through the popular ICB translation, the simple translation children can read and understand.  Special pages throughout the text highlight the most famous and beloved prayers featured in the Bible. From Abraham’s prayers to the Lord to Jesus praying before his crucifixion to the way Paul prayed for the churches he planted, this Bible will teach young readers about a God who loves to hear from His children and loves answering prayers. This Bible includes a pocket with a prayer journal for children to record their own prayers.

Some Special Features:

  • 160 Pages of Prayer Articles throughout the text
  • 64 Four-color pages featuring poem prayers, scripture prayers, and engaging Kids’ Q&A’s
    • The full page prayer articles will help children learn how to pray, to not fear prayer, and to see within the Word how and when God’s people prayed
    • The colorful decorative pages will feature kid-friendly scripture prayers, topical poem prayers and fun questions and answers kids have about prayer
  • The Bible comes with a prayer journal as an add-on, a handy pocket on the back flap to carry the prayer journal.

Special features include 160 pages of prayer articles throughout the text and 64 four-color pages featuring poem prayers, Scripture prayers and engaging Kids’ Q&A’s. The full page prayer articles will help children learn how to pray, to not fear prayer, and to see within the Word how and when God’s people prayed. The colorful decorative pages will feature kid-friendly scripture prayers, topical poem prayers and fun questions and answers kids have about prayer. As a value-add, the Bible comes with a prayer journal and a handy pocket on the back flap to carry the prayer journal.

While I can’t discredit this company any bit in their design, the translation, the composition of this Bible- there really wasn’t much that drew me to it. My pre-teen picked it up once, thumbed through it, set it down. He never went back. I didn’t expect him to jump for joy over it, but he was overall uninterested. And my prayer journal holder ripped off the day I unpacked it. It is delicate and not very durable.

The Prayer Bible for Children is written in a manner that is simple for kids to pick up and read on their own. It’s written in a sense that allows them to gather the concept and not have to question the large, over-translated words that some of our adult Bibles feature.

If you are interested in a Prayer Bible for Children of your own, here’s the purchase links:
Blue                                                     Pink

 

 

There is a giveaway happening here

and FREEBIES & discounts here

 

Enjoy!

 

Let me know if you use this Bible! ❤

 

 

 

 

[God is GOOD]

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today i remembered that God promised me healing in His time almost 5 years ago to the day, at a prayer night at my church.
I started seeing a new chiropractor on Friday and just really feel like i need to share that this has been the most pain-free few days i’ve had in over 5 years. i steadily saw a different chiro for 2 years straight and never had this kind of relief.

 

God is good [all the time]

[independence in step parenting]

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Let me just start off by laughing at my title, “Independence in Step Parenting,” because this is not a thing. It’s so far from being a thing, I can’t believe I even typed it out like it was a thing.

Step Parenting is hard because yes, you love your kids. Yes, you care for them. Yes, you financially provide for them and might even be their health care supplier. You wake up with them in the middle of the night, pack their lunches, check their pockets before you wash their clothes, make them dinner and remind them to brush their teeth at night. But you can’t really do any of that on your own.

If you care for them differently than their biological parents want them to be cared for, you are wrong. You are inferior. You are the wrong. It is not ever the fault of the terrible teen or the moody pre-teen. It is not appropriate to share your disappointment in the failure of the kids, even if the rest of the world is disappointed, too. You are to be the friend and never the parent, unless the parent wants help. You don’t really want to be their friend though. You want to parent because you are a parent. Maybe not by birth, but you are a parent.

Just like normal families, mom and dad come from different backgrounds and have different parenting styles and different techniques. But you are step, so it doesn’t matter. Your upbringing is wrong. Your family is wrong. Your ways are wrong.

When it comes to celebrations, they are done in the way of the biological parent because, haha, after all it is their child. Not yours. And this is how it’s always been done.

If you don’t agree, it is appropriate to stop talking and to submit immediately.

We are throwing 9 a 10th birthday party against my wishes. We just moved. We’re finally in a month that doesn’t have a lot of extras- you know, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. We have seen an entire month of bills at our new house and can set expectations for what we need to shell out in order to operate. I can’t justify spending $125 on a party for someone who has 3 friends and is an hour away. I could justify doing a big, giant, fun present for this birthday but, who am I?

I say no. Then eventually just say f*ck it, do what you want. We’re having a party. It’s listed at $125, but I know it will not cost $125. We already have to pay for us to bowl + the older kids if they show. We will have to pay for food for the parents who come. We’ll have to pay for 13’s friend that his mother invited but didn’t consult us about. Us who is paying for the party and planned the entirety of it without an ounce of her help.

13 who is failing his grade for the second time and still has a tablet, a cell phone and a girlfriend. 13 who has an attitude and drives me up the wall. 13 who thinks he is 19 but refuses to take on any responsibility. 13 who took 2.5 hours to wash 1 sink of dishes on Saturday. 13 who cried when I gave him his SECOND chore of the day- to clean the small bathroom. Which he deep cleaned 2 weeks ago, so really will only take 6 minutes in its entirety. 13 who is a pompous as*hole.

I am tired of my opinions not really mattering, even when my prince says they do. I am tired of their mother having more weight than i in my own house and in my pocket book. I am sicked that she can call FOC and demand an evaluation, 30 days after we move to our new house. Why can’t we have ANYTHING to ourselves? The kids are happy. Let it be.

I am so irritated and so beaten down by this parenting gig.

100 questions

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100 QUESTIONS NO ONE EVER ASKS

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

I prefer them closed, but they can’t right now

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

YES

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Out

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

no

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?

YESSSSS

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

yes

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

a big bear, i think. get it done.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

yes!

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

yes

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

there are too many to list.

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

only if i’m REAL bored

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

yes

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

no. unless you count when we go camping and we use the porta potty……. thats basically just got a hole to the ground underneath it.

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING?

yes

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

no. my mom always did and i hate it.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

my husband.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

queen.

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

anything Khalid

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

yes

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

not often but yes.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

elf is slowly becoming one of my least…

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

i wouldn’t tell you

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

water usually

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

sweet and sour sauce or a ranch/bbq mix

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

chicken

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

the holiday. maid in manhatten. monsters university haha

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

my husband.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

no

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

no

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

its been a while

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

no

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

yes, not since i was 16 though

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

ONCE

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

egg

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

everything. bacon, eggs, sausage, toast. fried potatoes

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

10:30

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

it feels like it right now

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

cats, barney, m&m, i dont know

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

i have no idea

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

1.25

english and some german

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

no

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

legos

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

yes

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

letterman

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

only with my grandma

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

yes

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

is that even a question?

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

no

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

yes

50. EVER USED A GUN?

yes

—————————–

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

february

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

yes

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

yes

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

no

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

none

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

psychologist

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

no

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

yes

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

im supposed to

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

now i do!

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

when i let the dogs out

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

tank top and shorts

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

i think goo goo dolls

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

nike

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

cheetos

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

neither

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

no

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

yes

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

yes

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

no

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

NO. i was in 13th place in our district lmao. i missed Amethyst.

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

yes

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

no

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

no but i want one and my prince wont let me.

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

yes. my husbands poo is stinky

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

well yeah

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

a lot of people. idk.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

third eye blind

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

hot

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

tea

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

decent enough

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

depends 🙂

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

dj

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

yes

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

no

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

neither

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

no

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

living room

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

i am

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

almost 3 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

Jimmy.

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

no

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

yes

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

yes

 

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

teal

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

yes

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS  NEXT?

nobody

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The StepMomma’s 2017 Goals [RECAP]

  1. Decluttering
  2. Fixing up House A
  3. Fixing up House B
  4. Making healthier food and life choices
  5. Saving more moolah
  6. Paying off all debt (excluding student loans, mortgages)
  7. Weekly Bible Studies with the kiddos
  8. Reading my entire bible all the way through
  9. Hosting a Bible study in our home
  10. Becoming a DBA and LLC for my personal business
  11. More family time
  12. Learning to cook one decent meal for the family
  13. Only wearing jeans one day/week…
  14. Read more.

 

I set a lot of goals last year. I’m really happy that 10/14 of these are marked off. Here’s my annual update.

1) We decluttered SO MUCH while we were moving. and now that we’re HOME, we can see what we really.. still don’t need. and it feels SO GOOD. I have a box of dishes I’m giving to 21 when he gets his house, he and his girlfriend are working on it.

2) House A is fixed up and SOLD in October

3) House B is fixed up and has been on the market since opening week of Deer Season. 11 showings. Hoping someone will love it and call it home soon.

4) making healthier choices is a daily choice. Yesterday I ate pizza rolls and pretzels. Tonight I’m eating soup for dinner. It’s a choice every day. But this time last year, I never would have touched a bowl of freshly made turkey soup. Ever.

7) We’re still working on this. But the first year my prince and i started talking, not even dating really, he got me this Beth Moore devotional, i don’t even remember what it’s called. but we’ve started reading it with the kids every night they’re over. It talks about the birth of Christ and is real simple. It helps us to spend 10 minutes with them and get their thoughts or opinions. or just tick them off. Either way, we’ve started.

10) CHECK

11) Now that we’ve moved, we get to hang out as often as we want. it’s so nice.

12) I can make  several chicken dishes. I made a B.A. Lasagna, I make a few pasta dishes. I need to keep learning.

13) I probably wore jeans 2 total days in 2017. I win.

14) This is also a daily struggle. but most days at work, i begin with a few blog posts about topics that are intriguing to me and appealing. I count this as reading, even if it’s not hard, physical books. Now that we’re moved and settling, i want to finish the Magnolia Story and the rest of the other couple books I’ve got open.

 

2018 goals to come.

[God things]

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I was just reminded with a little flutter. More like a giant shove.

 

You are not dust.

               Even if you were made from it.

You are not dust.

God makes

                 [ B. E. A. U. T. Y. ]

From the ashes.